Ready for quitter’s day?

January 12, 2024 / Rich / Leave a comment

Photo credit: https://www.fireduppizzawest.com/5-delicious-pizza-beer-and-wine-pairings/

Did you give up on the gym after a few visits? It’s so busy in there. It’s going to take so much hard work and so much starvation to shed a few pounds, let alone get a six-pack

Missing those tasty IPAs and pizza? Maybe tonight you and your special one just order some in and Netflix and chill?

Just be ready for a wait on the pizza. The second Friday of January is apparently National Quitters Day. Great news for regular gym goers and pizza shop owners.

That’s the easy explanation.

I know there’s been a backlash on NY’s resolutions and setting yearly goals in recent years. Obviously if so many fail is it even worth trying? Why wait up to a year for an arbitrary day to happen to try to improve yourself? Totally agree with that last argument. The right time to start is now. Today is the day.

This year I realized there might be something else going on.

Many of us are fortunate to get a little downtime over the holidays. We start reflecting on last year, what was great, and what could be better. We get optimistic about all the things we could start doing to make things even better. Get in shape, get smarter, earn more, save more, build relationships, maybe even travel…

First week back isn’t so bad. Maybe you get enough sleep and don’t need to hit the coffee. You’ve got time to get to the gym, try a little meditation, take a bath before bed, read a book. Hang out with your kids. Date night. No alcohol so you’re sleeping well. Hey, this is pretty sweet.

Then the second week hits you. The work pressures start to mount. Bunch of unexpected responsibilities come up with the kids. Have to miss the gym a couple of times to not miss that work deliverable. An early morning meeting knocks you off the sleep goal and you’re back on the coffee.

Friday rolls around and you’re frustrated. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time to do all this new stuff. Why does life have to be so hard? I deserve a night off. Pizza and beers ensue. More lost hopes and dreams added to the lifetime’s pile.

Here’s my advice. Enjoy the pizza and beer. Especially enjoy the Netflix and chill.

Then find time tomorrow for a little exercise. And forgive yourself for having a life and other commitments. Be thankful for your optimism and desire for self-improvement.

Then choose just one of those optimistic goals. Schedule time to do 10 minutes of that. Far better to make one little improvement than none at all.

If you conquer that little mountain then maybe you can add in a second.

Let me know if any of this resonated with you.

I’ll raise a silent toast to you all tonight. Cheers!

Rich

Featured

54 lessons from 54 years

July 19, 2020 / Rich / 4 Comments

It was my 54th birthday last month. Inspired by Kevin Kelley’s 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice, here are my reminders to myself about what works for me, broken into 4 sections:

Getting the Day off to a Great Start
Staying on Track During the Day
Eating and Exercise
Relationships and Communication

I hope some of these are of value to you. Let me know what you think!

Getting the Day off to a Great Start

1. Get the sleep you need.

If you are tired, your chances of doing good go down, and saying bad things and making poor food choices go up.

2. Don’t use an alarm to wake up. (Unless you have some early appointment you can’t miss)

That way you’re not jolted out of bed mid-deep-sleep cycle. If you get regular on your bedtime, your body will get regular on your wake-up time. If you need to go to bed earlier to get the sleep you need, do it. If you’ve traveled across time zones, you’ll just have to do the best you can!

3. When you wake up, get up.

If you’re procrastinating about getting up, you either didn’t give yourself enough time to sleep, or you aren’t really excited about what’s going on in your life, so better to get up and start doing something to change that

4. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner, kiss them before you get out of bed.

It gets the oxytocin flowing, makes you both smile, and reminds you how lucky you are.

5. Make your bed straight away.

It gives you an easy accomplishment and at least one corner of your life is now neat and tidy. (And now you’re even less likely to go back to bed)

6. Start every day with a moment outside (ideally at sunrise).

Look, listen, smell, feel, and marvel at nature. (I spent a long year strung out trying to sleep in the front room on a busy road where the trucks would shake me awake at 4 am. I’m incredibly lucky to now live in a quiet location surrounded by trees. We need restful sleep and contact with nature to be our best selves.)

7. A cold shower or plunge is the most effective way to wake up

Even after 5 years, I’m still shocked by the cold water. But a cup of coffee is no match for the charge this gives your entire body. I believe it’s a great stimulant for autophagy as well, but I’ll leave that to the scientists to prove.

8. 10–20 minutes of daily yoga helps your body move better.

Functional movement is essential to healthy aging (and you’ll need to move after that cold shower, lol). We need core strength, flexibility, and balance. Aging starts wreaking havoc when we stop moving or fall down.

9. 5–10 minutes of meditation gets your head and heart in the right place

Days typically don’t go so well without the right attitude. And you can get amazing insights on what’s bugging you and what you need to focus on.

10. Take a moment to notice some detail every day.

Smell the roses (literally), look at all the different gardens, listen to the birds and insects. As Ferris Bueller would say, life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around you might just miss it

11. Writing down things you’re grateful for reminds you how lucky you are (vs. being upset about what you don’t have and the bad things that happen).

I aim for a least three things. Sometimes it’s just the details like the smell of coffee, or putting on clean clothes. Other days it’s family, friends, having an income, or somewhere to stay.

12. If something is troubling you, journal it.

Write out the worst-case scenario, with all of your worst fears and interpretations of human nature. Then, thank your lizard brain for trying to protect you, and go back and write a draft that gives the benefit of the doubt to you and everyone else. You’ll be amazed at how this can help you re-frame an issue or get it into perspective.

13. Write down the 1–3 things you can do that will make it a good day and do them.

Don’t be unrealistic in your expectations (I’m always over-estimating what I can do in a day). Don’t make the day’s success dependent on others (that’s just setting yourself up for disappointment).

14. Do the hardest thing first. Don’t get distracted with less important things.

The day will pass quickly, and our ability to resist temptation declines as the day progresses, so do the hardest, most important things first while your willpower is still strong and hopefully before other things start competing for your attention.

Staying on Track During the Day

15. Go on a permanent diet from current affairs and daily stock prices.

When the COVID-19 shutdown happened, I only added to my anxiety by ending my news and stock price holiday. It’s almost 100% noise, very little signal. People will tell you if something really important happened anyway.

16. Prioritize spare moments for quality long-form audio and writing.

You’ll learn a ton and have a sense of actual accomplishment. It’s easy to use a couple of minutes here and there to check email or social on your phone. Instead, make Audible or Kindle your go-to at those moments.

17. If you happen to catch yourself surfing online mindlessly, stop. Remind yourself what you wanted to be doing and get back to doing that.

The internet is an amazingly seductive and infinite treasure trove. It’s best to ration your social and email to specific time blocks 1–2 times a day.

18. If you’re frustrated with how the day is going, take 5.

Stand up and stretch, do some squats or pushups, get a glass of water, pet the dogs, and/or go outside for a walk. Give yourself a little mental break to work out how to take the next little step forward on what matters most. Then come back to your workspace and do it.

19. If you need energy, call a high-energy friend to say hi.

The conversation will brighten the day and recharge you better than any cup of coffee, or hit of sugar. Work out who those positive people are and keep a list handy for when your energy flags.

20. Do your best to do things well

Find contentment with honest dedication and process, not the outcome (you can only control your inputs, not the outcome)

21. Aim high, but be ready to adapt to whatever happens.

It’s great to dream big and have high hopes for every day but expect that things can and will go wrong. So be ready to course-correct as necessary.

22. You really only learn by doing

You can intellectually get something, but the only way to internalize it is by doing it.

Eating and Exercise

23. If you’ve got a headache, have a glass of water.

If it goes away, you were probably dehydrated. If your skin is dry or your urine is anything more than pale yellow, you’re definitely dehydrated. If your urine is red (and you haven’t been eating beetroot, lol) go see your doctor!

24. If you think you’re hungry, have a glass of water.

Most times if you forget about it, the hunger will go away again.

25. Wash your hands before preparing and eating anything.

Thank you COVID-19 for reminding us about good hygiene lessons our parents tried to teach us!

26. It’s almost always better to share food with others than eat alone.

We are social beings. Most times a conversation over food will brighten your day.

27. Taste it before you serve it, and fix it if it’s not right.

If it tastes right to you, it’s probably going to taste right for most other people. You can’t fix it once it’s on the table. The right balance of salt, sweet, fat, and acid is the key to delicious for almost any food that’s not a bakery item. The more you practice tasting and adjusting with one or more of these the better you’ll get.

28. If it’s not great and you’re not starving, don’t keep eating it.

You’ve only got room for the good stuff, so don’t waste that room filling up on mediocre.

29. Eat slow, savor, and stop when you’re full.

Otherwise, you’ll just be uncomfortable for the next couple of hours. If you feel compelled to finish everything on the plate, try just leaving a last bite on the plate each time to break the compulsion. If you catch yourself eating too quickly, and faster than others at the table, slow down and savor the remaining bites. If you’ve finished, and you still think you’re hungry go floss and brush your teeth (you’re less likely to want to snack once you’ve invested those couple of minutes)

30. You don’t need to save all the leftovers from a party or meal.

Give them to someone hungry, or throw them out if you can’t.

31. If it’s not in the house, you’re less likely to eat it.

This is remarkably effective. And really difficult if you’ve got kids or you don’t get rid of the party leftovers.

32. Coffee and dark chocolate are delicious, but too much too late in the day and they’ll just mess with your sleep.

Some folks are definitely more sensitive than others. Learn how your body responds. For me around noon is the cut-off. I usually fall sound asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. If I have any trouble it’s either coffee, dark chocolate, or stress.

33. Good beer, wine, and spirits are delicious, but alcohol always borrows some happiness from tomorrow

Even if it only impacts sleep quality. More alcohol equals more food and feeling worse about yourself the next day. It’s almost sacrilegious for an Aussie to say this, but you don’t need to finish the bottle, you can actually just pour it out.

34. Yes/no rules take less effort to stick to.

It’s much easier to not drink 2 days in a row than to stop at two drinks. Or don’t drink coffee after 2 pm, or don’t eat at children’s birthday parties, than to decide at the moment if you should or shouldn’t because willpower is not reliable and runs out as the day progresses

35. Self-discipline creates self-respect

It might not be the most fun choice, but you’ll always feel better later. Cold showers and exercise, or getting something finished for work are a case-in-point.

36. You finish running 100 miles by making one step at a time.

If you can take another step without endangering your long-term health, you just keep going. Big accomplishments are the sum of lots of small efforts.

37. Exercising in nature is always better than indoors.

An hour a day in nature is much better for you mentally and emotionally and goes by a lot faster than an hour on the treadmill or stationary bike.

38. If it’s later in the day and you don’t feel like exercising, just try starting.

You’ll probably end up getting it done, and you’ll almost certainly feel better

39. Try taking a different trail or street on your next run or ride or drive.

Another benefit of COVID-19 was exploring all the streets in my neighborhood that I’d never been down. Variety and surprises just make life more interesting.

Relationships and Communication

40. Strangers welcome conversations. People like to be asked.

You’ll be surprised how often that turns out better than you expected. People are distracted or scared. If you want to connect with others, make the first move. Don’t ever expect anyone to return the favor (most people are doing their best just to get by). Be delighted when they do.

41. Be brave and start a conversation

Say something nice and/or ask a question. You’ll probably brighten your day and theirs.

42. If that text, message, or email is getting too long, it’s time to talk.

If there’s room for misinterpretation and it matters, go see them, get on a video call or just call them. It’ll save time in the long run.

43. You reap what you sow. Giving is better than receiving. Showing you care makes such a difference.

Good turns are rewards in themselves. Make breakfast or a cup of tea. Give someone a hug or asking how they are doing. Sending an article or a podcast to someone you think it would be relevant for. Introducing people with shared interests. Using Facebook to remember birthdays (and even old friends). Using LinkedIn to recognize promotions (and old colleagues and connections).

44. Attention is the most precious thing you can give

Spend it wisely on the people and things that matter to you (vs. giving it away to marketers and the endless distractions of the internet). If you can find 10 minutes to really listen to someone and give them your undivided attention, that is a lot better than an hour of partial attention.

45. If you have the faintest inkling you did something wrong, you probably did

So you better do what you can to make amends!

46. Usually, you are the only person that can and will fix the situation

So you better start fixing it!

47. The sooner you act on fixing things, the sooner you’ll start feeling better.

Come up with a plan and then act on it. Every tiny step forward will make you feel better. Sitting around feeling bad won’t help anyone.

48. Learn to love yourself for your sake and everyone else’s

Self-loathing has a nasty way of impacting the way you judge others. If you learn how to be nice to yourself, it’ll help you to be much nicer to everyone else.

49. If you’re getting annoyed, work out what’s triggering you.

You’re probably being triggered/reacting to something you don’t like about yourself. Find kindness by reminding yourself that another person is being like you on another day

50. 99 times out of 100 the other person is trying to do the right thing

No matter how much it doesn’t make sense to you, it probably does to them, so find out what they were thinking before you pass judgment

51. Mirroring and empathy work better than problem-solving

Most of the time we just want to be heard first. No matter how much you want to help others avoid mistakes, or tell them our brilliant way to fix whatever challenges they’re facing, they’re only going to listen to advice when they tell us they’re ready to hear it.

52. Your kids are meant to be who they are, not who you wanted to be.

They’re not your second chance to be who you wanted to be, so stop expecting that from them. Help them to find and be their best selves.

53. Use prompts and your environment to mitigate mistakes when you’re tired or cranky

It sucks that judgment errors (whether those are using the wrong words or losing your temper or eating or surfing mindlessly) can add up to outweigh all the good work you’ve done earlier in the day and that those mistakes are most likely when you have the least willpower to manage them. Set up your environment to help you succeed (e.g. making sure there aren’t undesirable snacks in the kitchen), and prepare yourself mentally for the desired behavior (when x triggers me, I will do y). Don’t plan hard mental activity for the afternoons if that’s when you get tired, instead reserve that time for calls, admin activities, cleaning the house, and exercise.

54. Reflect on the day and prep for tomorrow

Take a few moments to reflect on the best things that happened. Note a couple of things you could have done better. Sketch out a plan for tomorrow. Layout your clothes for the next morning. Go to bed in time to be ready for another great day.

Tonight, we are sitting on the world’s best beer collection…

May 6, 2017 / Rich / Leave a comment

…in a hotel room. I’m certain of it. And we’re too tired to drink it.

When I came to the States in 1999, American beer was constantly ridiculed as various forms of piss. Who’d have thought the tables would turn to the point that Belgians and Germans are coming to the US to learn how to make beer?

Four days in the North East with two aficionados as tour guides blew my mind. Think wine tasting with a hipster vibe. No shortage of beards, tattoos and piercings.

First stop, Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier, VT. Quaint downtown. It’s raining on and off like it will do for the entire trip. The trees are just starting to bud so they have a smoke ring of red just forming around their gray skeletons. It’ll look completely different in two weeks. We step into one of those comfortable local joints with whitewashed walls and a collection of signs, pictures and hunting trophies that feels authentically collected and curated. Not like one of those brand new joints where somebody had to go out and buy all this arbitrary stuff two weeks before opening to make it look like this.

At 8:30 on a Wednesday the crowd is thinning out, so we grab three open stools at the bar and introduce ourselves to Kevin. The bar has a classic comfortable wooden countertop with that delightful bevel for your elbows. I feel at home already.

The guys are intently studying the beer menu. The names are almost as much fun as the beers. I start my tour right with Lawson’s Finest Sip of Sunshine, a lupulin-laden tropical, juicy, hoppy, unfiltered, smooth double IPA that I’ve learnt is an excellent example of the North East IPA style vs. the bright hop riot typical of the West Coast IPAs. Grapefruit vs. lemon might get you half the idea.

The check ins begin. Untappd, is a Facebook for beer drinkers to keep track of and score all they’ve sampled (both my guides make it to 1,000 on this trip. I feel like a novice when I hit 100.) There are now over 5,000 registered craft breweries, so keeping track of the 50,000 plus brews is not a job for human memory.

The elusive BackAcre’s Sour Golden Ale in it’s cradle

While we tuck into some chorizo-stuffed grilled peppers, Jake spots a rare Sour Golden Ale from Backacre Beermakers. Kevin leans over the bar to tell us this is what those in the know are really excited about. This is beer that will change your mind about beer. It comes in a wine bottle, is poured into tasting glasses and then lovingly rested in wicker cradle to the sediment at the bottom is not disturbed. The nose is incredible, and the balanced sour is so refreshing after the IPA. A worthy competitor to champagne, far more scarce and way less expensive. At $22 for the bottle it feels like a bargain and it’s a most enjoyable companion to the TPT signature burger with the brilliant unexpected twist of peanut butter.

We climb back in the car, satiated, yet keen to get to Burlington before close. The Farmhouse Tap and Grill allegedly had a maple-inspired event but they’re on last call. The bartender recommends a local dive bar around the corner. Finnigan’s Pub definitely is. Amongst the skull stickers on the fridge is “Vermont as Fuck”. Here I get to try the phenomenal Heady Topper.

the delicious Heady Topper

It comes in a silver can with intricate tattoo-like graphics and the all caps instructions around the rim “DON’T POUR THIS”. Apparently the amazing mix of smells and tastes will be damaged by the act of pouring into a glass. I sip contently, marveling that we landed barely 5 hours ago in Boston and I’m already having this much fun.

As we stagger out of the bar in the wee hours, we learn that pizza falls from the sky in VT. A man carrying boxes asks if we want any. Umm, hell yeah! We tear the slices apart like starving dogs who can’t believe their luck as we walk back to the hotel.

The days start pretty late. Most tasting rooms don’t open until 12. On holiday, I like to make room for the coming calories with some exercise before the decadence starts. After a little more shaky than usual yoga and a bracing run on the bike path alongside Lake Champlain with dog walkers and runners I’m ready for more.

Burlington Beer Co is not actually in Burlington. It’s in an industrial park about ten miles out of town. Of course, everything is desolate and deserted except for this parking lot. There’s not a lot of money in this game and there’s no need for a picturesque vineyard. The industrial vibe sits well with the hipster aesthetic.

Stepping inside is like entering something from Ken Kesey’s Electric Cool Aid Acid Test. Trippy music is blaring. The server is incredibly lean (not surprisingly, many of the brewers and their clientele are hardly svelte). He’s clad in black, with dark rimmed glasses and a beanie and a chest tattoo peeping out the top of his Henley shirt. The brewery’s graphics are incredible, line-drawings of wizards, deers and apparitions. The names and brews are even more creative.

We order tasters of all 12 on draft and get to sni

Samples!

ffing, swilling and checking in. You Can’t Get Here From There (Key Lime & Kumquat), I See the Vision (Paw Paw & Dragonfruit) and the signature It’s Complicated Being A Wizard are standouts. The smokey and sweet mushroom tacos and were welcome and unexpectedly good sustenance.

House of Fermentology does not have a tasting room. Fortunately a few of their creations are on tap at Foam Brewers down by the lake, who are producing some outstanding drops as well. Like Clockwork is a knockout surprise. Rites of Spring is a tasty palate cleanser.

We score a last-minute cancellation and treat ourselves to some sophisticated farm-to-table fare at Hen of the Wood. The rabbit liver pate is a standout amongst beef tartare and heirloom carrot with homemade ricotta starters. We enjoy a four flight taste of bourbons and rye whiskeys another area of incredible artistry and innovation in the US. Enjoy them while they last, we’re drinking them faster than they can age them. Another excellent sour with our main course of pork loin and a delicious couple of desserts round out the meal.

The Growler Garage is a not so well thought out concept but we enjoy chatting with a few locals and helping them finish the antipasto plates from their office function. In search of more beer and apparently suffering from bottomless stomachs we find ourselves drinking more beers and devouring a superb mushroom and sausage pizza at American Flatbread. Time to stagger back to the hotel again.

Must be ready to roll by 10am. We’re going to the world’s best brewery today. There’s a palpable tension with sticking to the schedule because supplies are limited. After some more unsteady yoga and a much slower run, I check out and pile into the car for the nearly 2 hour drive to Hill Farmstead. It’s at the end of a long dirt road on top of a ridge. There’s still snow on the ground in patches. This feels more like a winery especially with a new tasting room commanding views of the surrounding country.

We arrive ten minutes before 12 and there’s already a line of cars and people assembling their coolers. You can’t buy these bottles online, so you have to be here to get this golden nectar. Sean Hill has been producing incredibly finely crafted Pale Ales, IPAs, sours and other exotic varieties and these patrons can’t get enough of it. First stop is the retail store to see what’s on sale today and what’s in limited supply. Then into the tasting room to get a number to get in line to fill bottles and start sampling to choose the two pours we will have today.

Liquor licensing in this country is a nonsensical patchwork of state regulations. Minnesota just allowed liquor stores to open on Sundays. In the Live Free or Die state of New Hampshire, you can only buy hard liquor from state run stores. In this tasting room, they don’t want you getting drunk and driving on those windy hill roads, so two pours is the limit and no pours are allowed of the stronger double IPAs. You can buy bottles to drink on site but they’re 60% more expensive than the takeaways. Signs everywhere advise you not to open the takeaways on site.

Part of the FOMO tension is driven by this scarcity and these crazy rules. There is an active trading market for these limited bottles and mules from all over the North East are here to pick up bottles. The guys have trouble relaxing as they wait for their number and decide how to allocate the precious slots in their luggage to the bottles they can take home. I just sample everything and wish my nose wasn’t blocked as I’m having trouble picking up the floral, spice and fruit notes of these beers. There is no bad beer here. The onsite list is reminiscent of a winery with a seemingly endless list of rare bottles. It can’t be long before the best breweries start to charge for samples, much like the wineries. There’s a constant struggle to keep this market for the everyman and somehow still cover the costs.

Unfortunately, being doubles, Abner and the Double Galaxy are not available for pours. So I settle down with the creamy dry Pale Ale Harlan, and the wonderful wheat saison, Florence. The sours are such a welcome pallet cleanser on this trip after all the bitterness of the hops. As we settle down and enjoy our pours and the initial opening wave thins out, we can feel calm descending. I’m struck by the mild irony of Frenchman filling a dozen bottles with American beer while his wife and kids patiently wait in a room and where the only food available is a selection of artisan cheeses.

It’s back to Waterbury to check in and visit The Alchemist’s new out of town tasting room. It looks like a punk winery, the crowd and the graphics on the merchandise and the building cement the vision. A black cap with a vibrant green line drawing of hops makes me realize that image has become a symbol of craft beer as iconic as the hemp leaf for cannabis.

At Alchemist they’re milking the success of Focal Banger and Heady Topper for all it’s worth. It’s all about cranking out these cans at scale. Locals are dropping in all the time to pick up their limited allocation. It’ll be interesting to see how long they can stay ahead of the fierce competition.

If I lived in Waterbury I would weigh at least twenty pounds more. The small downtown has three outstanding brewpubs and restaurants separated by about 20 paces. We hit Prohibition Pig (Pro Pig as the locals call it) for some beers and fine barbeque. I’m thrilled to find Hill Farmstead’s Double Galaxy on tap and it goes well with some dry rubbed wings, very tasty pimento poppers with chili jam, and a good brisket with duck fat fries.

Across the road is the Craft Beer Cellar. Just looking at the labels is entertaining. Boom Sauce, Consolation Prize and Steal This Can crack me up.

We head across the road to The Blackback Pub (try saying that fast after a few brews). Dave stops by our table to check in and gives us some recommendations including the surprising Rodenbach’s Fruitage (raspberries and elderberries, queue Monty Python’s Holy Grail) and lets us know which local brewers he’s excited about. Asking staff what they’re excited about is my pro trick contribution to this trip. The nachos with bacon, blue cheese, green onions and maple syrup are so good we go back for seconds.

We unsteadily cross back across the road to The Reservoir for yet more beers. And then we stumble back across that same road to Blackback for a final round. At this point I’ve clearly had way too much, somehow we’re eating yet more pizza and then ubering back to the hotel. Alchemist’s Crusher crushes me and I crush the can. Definitely time for bed.

ice cream 🙂

You can’t live like this forever. Or even a week. I’m a mess the next morning. We’re right next door to Ben & Jerry’s Factory so Tom and I take the factory tour for a change of pace. Even on a cold rainy morning the humorous graphics and community programs give you the warm and fuzzies about this institution. A funny graphic video of their history, a guide that somehow bursts with authentic enthusiasm, and a generous sample of Milk and Cookies flavor have us back on track.

We’re heading back to Boston today. Following up on Dave’s recommendation we stop in at River Roost Brewing in White River Junction and yak it up with the guys behind the bar and Brandon the man behind Big Fatty’s BBQ across the lot. Big Fatty’s is awesome, with an incredible salad bar and world-class brisket, burnt ends and ribs. Terrific selection of beers on tap and in their bottle shop. It’s worth remembering the unplanned surprises are the so often the highlights of travel.

today’s selection

We’re all pretty tired by now so the conversation in the car is thinning out. We’re rather pleased to finally make it to Trillium Brewing’s Canton MA location. The lot is packed, there are cars parked everywhere. Clearly we are in the big city now. Inside is a noisy zoo, with opposite lines for tasting and purchases reminiscent of United Zone 1 and 2 boarding snaking across the floor and overlapping. Dogs on leash add to the chaos. Again a two pour purchase limit. We divide and conquer hitting both line. The beers are really, really good making all the waiting for beers and somewhere to sit worthwhile. Vicinity, Double Dry Hopped Congress, Double Dry Hopped Summer are a juicy, cloudy, tropical collection of goodness. A decent, perhaps bit too fruity, Raspberry Soak sour to finish. Sadly, we miss out on the Fort Point Pale Ale.

After checking in at our airport hotel and dropping off the rental car we Uber over to Night Shift Brewing in Everett. Winding through an urban wasteland we reach the industrial oasis of the brewery, and the ever-present BBQ food truck. There’s a line to get in the door! It’s a lively scene inside and we choose our beers carefully and scout for a table. Morph, Santilli and The 87 are winners here. Of course, I finish with another sour, the well-balanced Rickey Weisse.

With dying cell phone batteries (the scourge of the modern traveler) and flagging energy we catch an Uber back to the hotel. There’s an amusing conversation with the driver who has recently graduated from Corona to Stella Artois and has noticed a craft brewery near his home and his thinking he should give it a try. He can’t remember the name. It’s something like Brewery he says. That should narrow it down a bit we later chuckle.

Back at the hotel, it’s time to sort out what will fit and what has to be drunk that night. Right here, right now, fresh cans and bottles of what is unquestionably now the best beer in the world are ready for consumption. And we’re too tired to enjoy it all. It’s time for goodbyes and half formed ideas of the next trip. Richmond, VA anyone?

What some true badasses taught me about leadership

February 18, 2017 / Rich / Leave a comment

This book is truly hardcore and yet surprisingly helpful from a leadership perspective. We imagine Navy SEALS pulling off Mission Impossible style activities. Who would have thought that Navy SEALS would have to deal with PowerPoint slides and face similar frustrations managing up and down that the rest of us do in a business environment? I immediately recognized challenges with my own leadership style and used the perspectives in the book to change my attitude to great effect.

The key concept is in the title and aligns closely with the Stoic writings of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations – stop blaming others for what happens, look in the mirror, accept the blame and take ownership. This is the only way to build true trust that is the most effective way to make teams work together. Google comprehensively studied what makes teams effective and discovered that psychological safety was the single most important metric for determining how well a team would work together.

When you hear lines like “corporate doesn’t understand what’s happening in the field”, “management doesn’t get it”, you know trust is not present. Jocko and Leif make the argument that the best way to fix this is to ask “Do they want us to fail? Are they trying to sabotage our efforts?” Of course not. If they don’t get it then you’ve failed to explain it to them. So own the communication, invite them out to the field, learn why they are asking the questions they are, build the relationship and the trust.

Navy SEALS are true badasses. The audiobook is fantastic because Jocko and Leif read with their intense deep gravelly voices recounting stories from Iraq with a deeply measured intensity that transports you to the urban battlefield. It can get a little repetitive with the stories, details and acronyms (I got tired of hearing M1 Abrams tank and M2 Bradley fighting vehicle spelt out every time they were featured) but at the same time there’s an important lesson from this precision and attention on details, the cost of a mistake can be the death of a close team mate, so checking and double checking when the stakes are high is absolutely critical, even if it get’s annoying. There are two examples in the book of avoiding blue on blue incidents (aka shooting your own guys) that were averted by having the courage in the heat of battle to stop and confirm the details before acting.

If you remember nothing else, remember there are no bad teams, only bad leaders. They tell a great story of 6 boat crews competing in SEAL training. Boat 2 is crushing it, all working together. Boat 6 is losing every race. The leader is blaming his crew and thinking he had the bad luck of getting a weak crew. They swap the leaders and suddenly Boat 6 starts coming in first or second with Boat 2. The successful leader did not assume he would lose, and focused the team on pushing to the next immediate obstacle in the race. This small shift in approach coupled with belief in the team (which made everyone on the team believe in themselves) made all the difference to their performance. So have faith in your teams, look in the mirror and ask are you truly owning the outcome no matter the result.

If someone on your team is causing you frustration, seek first to understand the behavior and the motivation. Ask them, hey I noticed you seem to be having trouble with doing x, are you not sure where to start or why we’re doing it, or something else? By realizing that you are responsible for their success you’re now on the same team and working together to be successful. If you both understand and believe in the mission (the why) and your own personal whys, the motivation will be there and you can focus on the execution.

Best ever wake up routine (and rediscover how to stay warm)

December 3, 2015December 3, 2015 / Rich / 6 Comments

Cole enjoying the cold It’s cold. 9 degrees (-13 C) this morning. 21 degrees (-6 C) now.

It’s now or never. I don’t want too, but I promised myself I would. I’ll be kicking myself for months later if I don’t man up and do this.

“Which way to the lake? We’ve got time for this right?” Mason nods.

“Good, let’s do it”

I’m committed now. We drive over the pass. Donner Lake appears as a mass of dark water brooding in the valley. We drive along snow-covered roads. The snow-covered houses across the lake look like picturesque gingerbread houses from here.

At the parking lot, some much younger guys are Go Pro-ing their attempts to ski along a rail. “Bathrooms are locked” they helpfully say.

“No worries, don’t need them” I say, privately thinking I can always use that old tactic to warm up a little.

Mason thinks I should jump off the end of the pier. The thought of going under is terrifying. I opt to lay out my clothes on the snow on the pier (so I can get some dry stuff on fast afterwards)

I start breathing. Big deep breaths in. Focusing on the breath up around my chest. Releasing the breath around the back of my neck, searching for the inner warmth that should come from the brown adipose fat tissue activation.

Gingerly I step in.

dipping a toe in the lake 10 weeks ago I started an online course called the Wim Hof Method. Wim Hof is a Dutch man, who according to Wikipedia: “holds 20 world records, including a world record for longest ice bath (1 hour and 52 minutes). He’s climbed to 21,982 ft altitude on Everest wearing nothing but shorts and shoes, completed a full marathon, above the arctic circle at −20 °C (−4 °F) dressed in nothing but shorts, in 5 hours and 25 minutes. He ran a full marathon in the Namib Desert without water… He demonstrated he is able to directly influence his own Autonomic Nervous System and Immune System. Hof seems to be able to raise his cortisol levels and lower the amount of cytokines (inflammatory mediators) just by using his meditation techniques.”

To prove he’s not just a faker, he gets scientists to test him. To prove he’s not a freak, he trained a group of 12 volunteers in a University project to do the same thing. His online course has now trained thousands. Today there were 9,485 members of the private Facebook page, and the pictures and stories they post are amazing.

When I heard about this on Tim Ferriss’ fantastic podcast with Laird Hamilton, Gabby Reese and Brian Mackenzie I was intrigued. After watching the Vice YouTube video and hearing Wim on Tim’s podcast I decided to sign up.

Ever the earnest student, I printed the guide, did a baseline for seconds holding breath (retention) and then maximum push-ups, woke early and followed the weekly videos (no you can’t step ahead to the next week until a week has expired).

It’s all filmed at his training facility in Poland. You see Wim and a handful of students in their gray hoodies and sweat pants sitting on yoga mats in a plain room. His voice is deep (as if coming from deep within his diaphragm) with an infectious laugh, and some hilarious translations (such as “put them in the pelvis” to explain a seated hamstring stretch)

Every morning you do 4 cycles of 30-40 deep inhales and light exhales resulting in a tingly feel as you flush out carbon dioxide and fill up with oxygen.

You will hold your breath 50 to 200% longer than your benchmark after this first “hyperventilating” cycle. First surprise.

By the end of the fourth cycle, no matter how groggy you felt getting up, your whole body will feel alive and you won’t even be looking for a cup of coffee. That is super cool.

After a 5th cycle of breaths, you do push ups holding your breath. The first time will be more than you did while breathing. Second surprise.

You then do yoga stretches with a breathing technique (inhale to point of resistance, hold breath for 5 to 7 seconds and focus on releasing blood flow into point of resistance). You can feel the area release and allow you to go deeper into the stretch. Third surprise.

Then exercises – headstands (can do), 1 arm crow (success!),and this insanely hard thing called the shelf, which I haven’t mastered yet. I’d wanted to do a freestanding headstand for years and now all of a sudden it was happening. Another surprise.

Next, meditation. 5 to 10 minutes. Focus on breathing and the forehead. You’ll start seeing “stroboscope” lighting in your head. He says it’s the pituitary gland. I don’t know what it is, but it’s pretty cool. The intensity varies (it can be vary faint). In an earlier post, I shared my experiences with Headspace, and it was nice to try this simple approach

Then the cold showers. You start with alternating 30 seconds cold then hot, then a minute, by week 7 you’re doing 10 minute cold showers daily. I won’t say they are pleasant, but within days, you stop gasping when the cold water hits you.

I’m rather compelled by the simple notion that with heating and clothes we’ve lost touch with our ability to regulate our body temperature. Before civilization, early humans would have presumably died from exposure all the time without this.

All up the routine takes an hour. If you just do the breathing it’s 20 minutes. I feel incredibly awake and invigorated every time I do this. It’s now my absolute favorite way to spend the first 20 minutes of my day. I’ve been testing different morning routines for the last 2 years including different combinations of journals, gratitude and affirmations, yoga, meditation, and reading. Breathing wins for me.

Back to that cold lake. I was surprised I didn’t start shivering when I took off my clothes. I was surprised I didn’t gasp stepping into the water (it was a relatively warm 48 degrees (9 C) so maybe that’s why). I expected my fingers to start freezing up on me so I crossed my arms over my chest. They never got cold. I kept breathing.

One of the young guys filming the skiing came over and said that’s way more interesting than what we’re doing and shot a little action on the GoPro (maybe we’re on YouTube now?) Mason kept track of time and shot the video on his phone. Cole got bored, wanted to pee, did snow angels, and as you can see, ate snow.

5 minutes in some shivering started. Decided it was time to get out. Stepping out was fine. Reaching for my towel and drying off was fine. Getting the first layers on was fine. Then the cold blood from the extremities started to hit my core and the shivering started (they call this the “after-drop”). Apparently vigorous physical exercise like running or pushups can help offset it. Like climbing a mountain, it’s not over at the top, it’s over once you get back down. I shouldn’t have lost focus on my breathing.

As the shivering really kicked in, I needed Mason’s help to get those socks on my wet feet. Getting back in the car, the shivering came on strong. It took about 1/2 an hour for it to stop. I was hungry as a horse that night, guess my system got challenged and needed fuel to recover.

Sometimes it’s good to shake things up and scare yourself. I was more scared about doing this than running the Miwok 100km in 2011, or 50 miles at 10,000 ft in Park City, Utah last year.

What’s it all good for? Excellent question. For me, finding the best way to start my day without caffeine is priceless. Rediscovering new potential, and redefining what is possible is priceless.

Everything else is just gravy. Achieving personal goals like freestanding headstands and improving flexibility is cool. I’m injured right now from running, so I don’t know if it’ll improve my cardiovascular system. Haven’t had a cold yet, but it’s just the start of winter. Still get cold hands (Wim suggests training with an ice bucket). I just made a work trip where it was 30 degrees and I didn’t feel the need for a jacket, hat or gloves. Lighter weight travel is a nice perk.

All up, great value for $199.

I hope I can thank Wim Hof in person one day. Maybe share a beer and a few laughs. We are all amazing. As Wim would say “breath motherf#%ckers” or less crassly, “enjoy, have fun with it”. Namaste.

Watermelon plays nice with chicken

August 15, 2015August 29, 2015 / Rich / Leave a comment

There’s been so much tasty goodness this summer. This was another popular food porn shot receiving multiple recipe requests. The tangy lime dressing is so refreshing with the watermelon.

This is a great example of how you can turn a salad into a meal by combining it with a protein, in this case, a foolproof (always juicy, never dried-out and rubbery) grilled chipotle-lime chicken recipe from Cooks Illustrated (subscription required)

I’m trying to eat more greens, so I tend to always have clamshells of organic arugula or mixed greens in the fridge. A handful goes on the plate first, and then I just lay the salad on top

Watermelon Feta & Mint Salad with Chipotle-Lime Grilled Chicken

Make ahead: the grilled chicken (I make a huge double batch and use it throughout the week, good for 4 days in the fridge and much longer in freezer )
Prep time: 15 minutes for watermelon salad, 1 hour for the grilled chicken
Serves 4
Ingredients:
- Chicken (for each 1.5-2 lbs of skinless chicken breasts)
  - Marinade: whisk together 3 Tbsp olive oil, 2 Tbsp water, 1 Tbsp lemon or lime juice, 1 tsp sugar, 1 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp ground black pepper, 3 cloves minces garlic.
  - Sauce (this sauce is awesome, and perfect if you’re having the chicken by itself, otherwise you can omit for this recipe): whisk together 3 Tbsp EVOO, 1 Tbsp lime juice, 1 tsp minced chipotle chile, 2 Tbsp cilantro leaves, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp ground black pepper
- Dressing
  - 1/2 cup mint leaves
  - 1 serrano chile (seeded and minced) or 1/2 tsp red chile flakes
  - 1 Tbsp honey
  - 2 Tbsp rice vinegar
  - 1 Tbsp lime juice
  - 3 Tbsp EVOO
  - Salt & pepper
- Salad
  - 1/4 cup mint leaves
  - Seedless watermelon about 3lb, peeled and cut into bite-size pieces
  - 6 oz feta crumbled
Preparation
- Charcoal grill: if using (you can also broil the chicken if you’re in a hurry), fill and light the chimney starter, then make a two level fire – all charcoal on 1 side.
  - I like using smoker chips. Add 1 cup of Hickory chips to 2 cups of water before starting the grill (they need about 30 minutes of soaking). Add to the charcoal after its gone white, then add the grate back in
- Chicken:
  - Make the marinade and pour into a gallon size zip-loc freezer bag
  - Add the chicken and massage around, squeeze out the air, seal the bag and put in the fridge for 15 minutes (I usually do this after starting the grill)
  - After 15 minutes flip the bag, and leave for another 15 minutes (total of 30 minutes)
  - Use a wad of paper towels with oil on them to grease the grate just prior to adding the chicken to the side withOUT the coals.
  - Grill 5-7 minutes each side on the cool side with the lid on (until chicken goes white, maybe some minor brown marks)
  - Move chicken to the hot side (where the coals are) and add some color (grill marks) about 2 minutes each side
  - Use an instant read thermometer (you’re good once it reads 135 degrees in the thickest part, and get it off straight away if you’ve topped 150! If you’re using a broiler, you’ll just need to watch it, plan on around 5-9 minutes each side)
  - Cover with foil and let the chicken rest for about 10 minutes
- Dressing:
  - Put all dressing ingredients (remember to save 1/4 cup mint leaves for garnish!) in a blender, buzz, taste, add more chile, lime, salt or pepper to taste
- Salad:
  - Toss the watermelon with the dressing up to 30 minutes before serving
  - Add the feta and grilled chicken and toss lightly
- Plating
  - Lay down some arugula, then place salad on top to desired portion size.

Enjoy!

Summer Bliss (aka: How to learn to love salads)

August 14, 2015August 14, 2015 / Rich / 2 Comments

Summer fruit and veg are just irresistible to me. Tomatoes, figs, peaches, nectarines, pluots, berries. So good.

If you’re not into salads, summer is the time to start. The cookbook that made me finally get salads is Salad of the Day, by Georgeanne Brennan. The genius of this book is right there in the sub-title: 365 Recipes for Every Day of the Year.

There’s a ton of different flavor profiles: French, Italian, Greek, Vietnamese, Thai, Mexican, Indian, favorites and favorites with a twist… Many of these salads are meals in themselves with protein included. Many are easily made into meals by adding some grilled chicken, salmon, tuna, steak, lamb, or shrimp.

Most weeks, usually Friday arvo or Saturday morning, I’ll flick through that month’s recipes and get some ideas. Then, when I get to the market, I go with what looks good, and know I can look forward to some delicious days using what’s seasonal. (Added benefit: if it’s in season, it’s often relatively cheaper)

This week has been ridiculous. I’ve been teasing friends on Instagram and Facebook with some of the photos. Here’s the recipe behind the food porn pic. What makes this recipe rock:

It looks and tastes amazing (thanks to the best heirloom tomatoes you can find, never refrigerated, just bursting with flavor and juices)
The unexpected combo of oregano, and sherry vinegar (instead of basil and balsamic)
You can let it sit a couple of hours and it just gets better (unlike most salads that need to be eaten almost as soon as they’re tossed with the dressing)

Heirloom Salad with Oregano, Sherry & Balsamic Vinegar (August 8, p. 183)

Serves 2 with 2-4 heirlooms, 4 with 6-8 (recipe below for 2, double for 4)
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Prep Ahead: up to 2 hours
Ingredients:
- 2-4 Heirloom tomatoes
- 1 green onion (or 3-4 chives)
- 1 clove garlic (optional)
- 1-2 tsp fresh oregano
- Balsamic vinegar
- Sherry vinegar
- Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO, a good salad-worthy one if you have it)
- Salt (Maldon crystals are awesome, but regular salt works)
- 1/4 tsp sugar (skip if desired)
- Country-style bread for mopping up the juices (if you want 🙂 )

Slice tomatoes a bit over a 1/4 inch thick. Lay them out on plates or serving platter
Sprinkle 1/4 tsp sugar, 1/4-1/2 tsp salt to taste over the luscious beauties (do this from about 12 inches above the plate for a more even sprinkle)
Finely chop the oregano & green onion (or chives), and mince the garlic (if using) and sprinkle over those tomatoes.
Drizzle lightly with sherry and balsamic vinegar (a couple of drops per slice seems to work), drizzle more generously with the olive oil
Try not to eat this goodness for at least 15 minutes. It’s good to stand out for a couple of hours. Then dive in. No one will mind if you lick the plate. You could always mop up the juices with a tasty bread.

What’s your favorite summer bliss? Let me know if you want me to post more recipes 🙂

Swissalpine 2013: how the Swiss organize a major alpine race

July 27, 2013July 31, 2013 / Rich / Leave a comment

The Swiss have beautiful mountains and brilliant organizational skills. Put those things together and you can have an incredible alpine running event.

Swissalpine 2013 was bloody hot this year (84 fahrenheit, 29 celsius) in Davos and not a whole lot colder on the top despite the odd snow patches. The premier event is K78 (just shy of a 50 miler) which is best characterized as a giant loop starting and ending in Davos, including a 30 mile warm up followed by a brutal 5000 ft climb, a short dip, another 1000 ft climb to a peak of a nearly 9000ft and then a long 12 mile run down to the finish (starting with a precipitous 2000ft 16% descent over rocks and snow). As the Swiss are particularly precise you can see the exact km marks and elevations here

The exact K42 course profile

Final approach to Keschhutte – first peak

Cows on the trail!

Amazing views up top

Snow and rocks made for some very technical descents

Having had a ridiculously bad year I opted to downgrade to just the interesting bits via the K42 – see profile pic to right. (The longer explanation of the bad year: over eager training after Boston Qualifying (yay, can’t wait for 2014!) at the incredibly wet and windy 2012 California International Marathon last December set off some persistent left knee issues (jumper’s knee as opposed to runner’s knee) followed by a broken neck (following some ill advised yard work #hiresomeonenextime, #luckytobealive) and then my right knee felt like it was missing out and claimed to be suffering from similar symptoms to the left knee. Despite seemingly endless sports medicine, physical therapy and chiropractic appointments all was not well and preparation was far from adequate and hence K42 not K78)

Those be some big hills up ahead

K42 basically skips 20 miles of warm up and “just” does the last 42.2 km (yep a real marathon) of K78. Following a little 5km loop, you do the big climb, dip and descent. No Boston Qualifying times here – add about 30-50% to your current road marathon time (depending on conditions and quality of your preparation)

Coming from the SF Bay Area with a plethora of short (as in 1500-2000 ft) and occasionally vicious climbs, I thought I had some basic level of preparation but the length and steepness of the climbs was certainly both new and challenging. Lets just say there was a lot of “power hiking”

The organization was brilliant – far better than what we typically see in the US. Considering the 9 separate events and probably about 5000 participants there had to be (and I guess the entry fees could fund it).

Highlights included:
1) The amazing number of spectators dotted all over the course in even the most remote locations all clapping or cheering “hopp, hopp, hopp”, “bravo” and/or “superbe” and the big stadium finish in Davos
2) The incredible views
3) The ability to get a massage at the two mountain peaks, following the big descent, and at the finish. Given the cramping brought on by the heat and my lack of muscle endurance this was a huge help in getting across the line without hobbling – never had a massage at 9000 ft before by 2 people at once with a magnesium chaser!
4) Access to showers at the end
5) Extremely clear sign posting at start for all amenities and extremely clear course markings (including ribbons laid on ground on either side of the trail across any trail junctions to avoid wrong turns)
6) starting a marathon at 10:30 (very civilized vs. the usual early waking for nutrition, and concerns about getting to the start)

7) Reasonably-priced day care was available all day for parents who wanted to run but needed someone to look after the kids
8) Return train tickets from anywhere in Switzerland and regional train ticket for 7 days included in entry fee
9) A detailed sheet explaining exactly what would be available at each of the many aid stations (water, bananas, alpine bread, granola bars, electrolyte drinks, soup, coke)

: Celebrating with a beer (burger was on the way)

There were a few things they could have done better:
– more frequent km markers in the final 10km and perhaps at each aid station (there were markers indicating distance to go every 5km and at 2 and 1 km to go.
– more generous provisions at the finish line – non-alcoholic beer, water and bananas does not a finish line party make
– not located luggage delivery (think bag drop) all the way round the back of the building up a flight of stairs (enough climbing already!) and about as far away as possible from the showers
– shuttles to train station for outbound trains (these may have been available but I ended up with an hour to kill after just missing my train)

All-in-all an extraordinary experience to cap off an amazing 2 week vacation. Can’t wait to an the next one!

What’s been your favorite overseas running experience and were there any lessons learned for US races?

If that’s not the version of success we want for our kids, why do we keep pushing for it?

February 11, 2013 / Rich / Leave a comment

Courtesy of New York Times

Attended a great talk by Dr. Madeline Levine as part of the Common Ground lecture series on January 30th. Her August 2012 op-ed piece “Raising Successful Children” is apparently the most emailed piece in history of New York Times. My favorite quote from that two-pager is: “In this gray area of just beyond the comfortable is where resilience is born.”

In 2008, when she wrote Price of Privilege she was gaining clarity on the solutions, now she feels she’s starting to make progress on some of the solutions which are reflected in last year’s Teach Your Children Well. Levine was a teacher in the Bronx, prior to starting a psychology practice in Marin county, just north of San Francisco over 25 years ago, where many an affluent child can be found. She’s also a mother of three, and sees motherhood as one of her superpowers (more on that later), so she knows children well.

She’s a wonderful presenter, very comfortable in front of a crowd, with only a flip chart “to keep her on track”, and many amusing anecdotes. Great dinner company, I’m sure. When she presents to crowds like the five hundred or so presumably affluent, well-intentioned parents in Silicon Valley jammed into that lecture theatre at 9am on a Wednesday morning, she likes to ask what is your goal for your kids?

a) to know themselves well, to have passion for their vocation, something to contribute, to be resilient, to have zest for life, a loving family, etc, or

b) to follow the linear “classic” definition of success: private schools, Ivy league undergrad, Harvard MBA, Goldman Sachs banker

Perhaps because the answer is obviously not “b” in this context, typically only 2-4% of the audience admit to “b”. So if that’s true, why do we keep demanding it of our children?

In the end, success with children is not the outcome of today or tomorrow. It’s a lifetime. 10 years out, the success rate of those that went to Yale vs. those that didn’t is indistinguishable. Yet, with all of the day-to-day blocking and tackling, it’s very easy to forget the long term view. She provides an example of one of her own children, who she transferred from public to private school, despite the contrary advice of experts, and yet with no apparent negative consequences in the long term.

Adults have a very well-kept secret from their kids – you only have to be good at a few things to succeed. When you look at yourself, and ask what are your superpowers, you probably excel at a handful, are good at some, and poor at the rest. A Gallup poll of executives revealed the same thing – of around thirty management capabilities, each executive only excelled at 3 to 5 things. The conclusion is the greatest rewards come from focusing on strengths, both for you and your children. As she says, kids don’t know this. Rather than trying to raise a kid that excels at everything, let them find what they are good at, and let the other stuff go. You probably don’t get straight A’s in your life, so why should your kids be expected to get straight A’s at everything too?

The challenge with the narrow linear definition of success is it creates huge pressure for kids to meet this straight-A’s trajectory and with that pressure comes a host of side effects from stomach aches to stress to depression. As Levine says, “in reality, most of your kids are really quite average. That’s basic statistics, the bell curve… If two people with an IQ of 140 marry, the likely result is not additive, its more likely to regress to the mean.”

For her, if someone is described as “smart”, she now likes to ask “in what way?”. She subscribes to Robert Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory of Intelligence : analytical, creative and practical, and says she ended up with a kid of each type. When the first one come along, with straight-A’s analytical intelligence she patted herself on the back, and thought how good she was at parenting. Then the second turned up with creative intelligence. “Creativity is like a river, if just flows, and you can’t stop it.” It took a while for him to find his way, but he did. The third child apparently had fantastic hands-on skills and amazing emotional intelligence. (A critical overlying capability for all of us, in my opinion).

The challenge is the school system rewards such a narrow definition of academic success. For kids not gifted with analytical intelligence, the challenge is how to help them develop confidence and high self-worth in a system that doesn’t value what they offer.

Clearly each child is different, and you have to match the school to the child. Imposing your own wishes on the children doesn’t do anybody any favors either. In another great quip: “at 16, kids have enough to worry about without worrying abut what the parents want” Apparently the most common request she gets from kids she sees in her psychology practice is “please help my mother to find a hobby [other than me]”. She’s not a fan of weekend sports spectating, as she feels it makes adulthood look boring. Parents should “keep in mind your own needs. Kids need to know its not all about them. Your home is your child’s first community.”

She acknowledges why many of us default to the linear success path in evaluating our kids and others: “we are anxious because the world is tough, and we don’t want our kids living at home after college, playing video games, and hitting the bong.” Somewhat surprisingly, Levine said that in terms of content and skills American kids are as good as any other. “In terms of everything else they stink … Kids have a sense of entitlement, a lack of grit, a lack of collaboration, and are so accustomed to external support and evaluation that they can’t evaluate themselves.”

The other reason, she suggests, is the lack of honesty in the “latte line” – all the other parents are hiding problems and saying everything is great rather than having an honest dialogue. In Levine’s view, the two most important developmental tasks for school-age kids are:

exploration
developing friendships

Her solution for over- parenting in a nut shell is: “don’t do what your child can already do, or almost do”. For example, “if your ten year old forgets a school project – do you bring it in for them? [Answer:] It depends! A succession of successful failures is really good for kids. They have to solve problems for themselves and learn how to cope and manage unhappy things. This isn’t always the rule, it depends, you have to have each others back. So if its super important, bring it in. If not, don’t. Every kid in America knows how not to load the dishwasher – “mum, I have an important test tomorrow “. Yet it’s more important they spend 5 minutes on a family obligation than an extra 5 minutes studying for a test.”

A few other tips from a most thought provoking and entertaining lecture:

“Kids say nobody listens to me – you have to listen, really listen.” In other words, put down that smart phone, get down on their level and listen
Don’t over schedule kids – they need space to construct a sense of self – playtime, downtime, and family time are critical
Young adolescents love to argue. It may be easier to deal with if you remember it’s really just to practice abstract thinking skills.

Have you read any of her books? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Review: Barnana Bites replace sticky gels, end stomach upset and calf cramps

February 7, 2013February 7, 2013 / Rich / 4 Comments

Over the last 10 years of endurance events, GU and other energy gels appeared to be a necessary evil for energy and electrolytes. Unfortunately I’ve found they get harder and harder to stomach the longer the race and the harder you are working. I was getting a lot of gastrointestinal (GI) upset and still getting debilitating calf cramps after about 2 hours of hard exercise. I’ve tried more or less water, salt tabs, magnesium, and potassium supplements all to no avail.

The longer and harder the run, the more likely the issues. At Quicksilver 50 mile race in 2010 I clearly remember knowing I needed to eat, but just not being able to force down a GU, and reaching for PB&J sandwiches, bananas and salted potatoes instead at the aid stations.

I first tried these Barnana Banana Bites about 6 months ago and found it not only was easy and relatively pleasant to eat no matter how hard I was working, it also caused no GI distress and my cramps were gone. Barnana is literally just partially dehydrated banana (which is why it is chewy rather than like the banana chips we all know), so its packed with potassium, which seemed to be just what my body needed to avoid the dreaded calf cramps.

As you can see from the pic above, they do look a little odd (dare I say unappetizing?) as they are little brown lumps. For me, all the other advantages easily exceeded the issue of appearance. You can also get a chocolate flavor, but I didn’t see any need to add that to the mix while running. Amazon sells them in bulk if you want to save a few $, and some Whole Foods stores stock them if you want to try a single pack without paying shipping charges.

For me, a full bag is perfect for a marathon – 1 chew each mile from roughly mile 4 to mile 22. Using this strategy , I ran a personal best (almost 30 minutes faster) at California International Marathon in December using them. You can put them in a sandwich bag and there is no mess like you have with the sticky energy gel packets. Price wise its about the same as doing 4-5 gels in a marathon, so it was a no brainer to switch for me.

So if you’re tied of the gels, this might work for you. Let me know what you think!

(Note: this is an authentic review. I’ve had no contact with the owners or makers of Barnana Banana Bites and received no compensation or free product)

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